“KEEEEEP QUIET”….The thunderous voice echoed down the huge corridors of my school.It was of course my voice when I was exercising my powers as the class leader of I-A. It was the third day in my new school. Having had my *KG schooling in a small neighborhood school the very entry into this huge reputed school was an achievement to me. Me being the topper in the entrance examinations and also bestowed with a natural good boy looks was the obvious choice for the class leader post. All this were making me fly high. Who wouldn’t after all, I had become my class teacher Mrs.Latha’s pet the very first day. As a leader I was supposed to maintain silence and discipline in the class, do minor errands like distribution of notebooks etc ..silly jobs of course but to me at that age they appeared to be huge responsibilities crowned upon me.
I enjoyed the job very much. Whenever I heard the slightest of the noises I would give out a loud ‘keep quiet’ cry which would nullify all the commotions and the class would turn silent immediately. My another favorite thing was to patrol to and fro in the class with my hands folded and a comical stern look with 45+ pairs of eyes watching me with fear .All these were sufficient for the first few days and as the natural friendship started blooming among the students the class obviously started turning noisy. It was then I discovered this new trick of writing the names of those talkative ones on the board and just push them out of the class. Boys were carried and dropped outside and u know touching girls I felt was a sin…so push them out with a long scale thereby maintaining the distance. No mercy to anyone , even the best of my friends received the worst treatment if I caught them red-handed. To me what I had imposed was a law and all were equal under the eyes of law. My reputation as a good leader obviously grew among the teachers with all of them praising me for my class being silent..
All this started entering my head and I turned to be a proud and haughty boy seeking violence and physical solutions to all problems. I was a normal boy when I was with my friends but the moment I stand up as the leader of the class I turned out to be a sort of a dictator. It was one Friday that changed me. Being the last period of Friday it was a free period. It was time for my usual patrol sessions. The class was absolutely silent. I was strolling and rejoicing my achievements when I suddenly heard a murmur from somewhere in the class . This I felt was an ultimate insult to the great leader in me.
With my face blushing I turned back to see my friend having a chitchat. Raged to the core and unaware of what I was doing I picked up a heavy pencil box that was besides me. Taking a good aim at him I threw it on him with the optimum force that I could offer. It was a bulls eye and the next moment he was on the floor covering his face with his hands. Everyone started to panic gathering around him to see what had happened. I stood there frozen with fear. At the moment the bell rang and I started running away with my bags. What I could see was his face with blood trickling from the lips. The next two days were really horrible for me .I could never sleep a bit troubled by fear and guilt. I felt very bad for the guy who was hurt by me. His blood covered face haunted me .I dreamt of faces without lips running after me. The next Monday with eye red due to crying I went to school .There I saw him with a huge band aid over his face. I din even have the courage to face him. It was then I understood many things. Leadership was not a compliment to your abilities but it was test for your character. Your success as a leader is determined only by your character at the end of the day and not by the means you exercise your power. Getting physical and beating people is an easy way out but its not the only solution. You know I have changed a lot since then. I never show my strength by bossing people around me. I have become a soft and silent boy. Since then I used to shrug off the chances of leading and controlling people and even in those I have accepted I had been a soft leader who never forces people to work. After all it’s the people who are really interested and talented who are going to work .
But even now the dark side of me wakes up though very rarely.
If someone accuses me for a mistake that’s not mine I really become very tense and I start hating them to the core. I should thank God for the fact that there are not many of those that I dislike , infact its 1 or 2 so far till my last year of college life. I should perhaps be more tolerant .
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